Nollaf's Tower

To Mick: A Good Anti-Hero Conscept

2009-08-25T16:25:00.000-07:00

Well, then I am back...I have had a long week and I apologise for my absence gentle viewers. Well, school starts tomorrow and I went to the French Laundry...oh the near celestial banquet that they presented before me during that phantasmal evening...*drools*...

Anyhow, I basically took the concept of V from V for Vendetta and inverted it on it's self. Here you have an upper middle class adolescent who possesses great intellect but is some what weak. Now his small feudal region is rather poor and is going through some difficult ages, and the due to the state of government...supreme executive power is purely passed down to the oldest son in the Royal Family. Thus, the current ruler is an impatient bloodthirsty moron who's council consists of a circle of rich Yes Men and nothing more.

After watching his mother and little sister succumb to disease and famine caused by the devastatingly poor economy, he forms a small terrorist organization consisting of a few fellow young men of like minds and a handful of thugs, drug addicts and homeless citizens. After raising enough money to obtain some resources and weaponry by harvesting and selling narcotics at high prices, they have control of the slums. With a staple supply of men and power, the local law enforcement can do little against him and his men. Soon after a bloody civil war between the local law enforcement and the terrorists, they gain utter most control over the settlement. Intent on expanding their power, the leaders split up and each of them takes 10-20 men and moves to the nearest decaying settlement.

The leader takes him men to the capital city, where within the Red Light District they make an abandoned brothel their base of operations. While they befriend the local gangs and distribute narcotics to them in exchange for their loyalties...the other leaders use the same tactics as they used before granting the organization control of three to four settlements. While the other leaders send their men to besiege the capital city, the adolescent takes his new found brute squad and infiltrates the palace at the heart of the city by navigating through the labyrinth sewer system beneath the city. Once they enter the palace halls, they use sleath and cunning to seek past any and all royal guards stationed and finally assassinate the moronic king and any who would be his successor biologically. As a sign of his victory, he has his men burn all the flags stationed within the palace...

And that's as far as I have gotten...

I'm Not the Only Misanthropic Philiospher out There Pepole: Misanthropy Throughout the Ages

2009-08-25T16:10:00.000-07:00

The common run of people... betray their utter slavishness in their preference for a life suitable to cattle. ~ Aristotle

A fool can neither escape the future nor endure the present. ~ Cicero

Men are so blind that they even take pride in their blindness. ~ Augustine of Hippo

There are a set of religious, or rather moral writers, who teach that virtue is the certain road to happiness, and vice to misery, in this world. A very wholesome and comfortable doctrine, and to which we have but one objection, namely, that it is not true. ~ Henry Fielding

Whoever fails to degrade the mind avenges himself by insulting it. ~ Beaumarchais

Then why has God put us on earth? To drive us mad. ~ Voltaire

Is not the existence of the most of mankind largely the result of a hot July afternoon, or the tempting sight of bed-linen, or the horizontal position of some sleeping kitchen nymph, or the putting out of a light? ~ Friedrich Schiller

Man is born of filth, and wades a little while in filth, and makes filth, and rots down again in filth, till at the last he’s not more than the muck that sticks to the soles of his great-grandson’s shoes. ~ Friedrich Schiller

Man is very lavish in the use of the word 'fool' and is ready to apply it twenty times a day to his neighbor. ~ Nikolai Gogol

And it became abundantly clear what sort of creature man is: wise, clever, and sensible in all things that concern others but not himself. ~ Nikolai Gogol

Man is capable of understanding everything: how the ether vibrates, and what's taking place on the sun; but when it comes to how another man can blow his nose in a way that differs from one's own-- why, that's something beyond one's powers of comprehension. ~ Ivan Turgeney

The bite on which I gagged the most is not the knowledge that life itself requires hostility and death and torture-crosses--but once I asked, and I was almost choked by my question: What? does life require even the rabble? Are poisoned wells required, and stinking fires and soiled dreams and maggots in the bread of life? ~ Friedrich Nizstche

Another Movie Review from the "Russian-Jugde" Nollaf: The Rocker

2009-08-07T17:19:00.000-07:00

Hello again you hideous fools, tis' me Nollaf again for the approximately fortieth time. Yes, I am fully aware of the fact that I have no life at all. You'll just have to shake your head at me in vane. Well I am ranting live from the local 3rd and B Teen Center! A big utterly sarcastic whoop is called for indeed...good god, the two tracks of heavy metal playing at once at full blast at the same time is enough to deafen one for all of eternity, no? But, anyhow even I have to get out of the house at times and socialize with my peers. Believe it or not, there are a select few adolescents who do not drive me insane with their mindless and quite shallow gibbering. Anyhow, enough introduction on with the movie review.

Last night, I viewed a modern film known as The Rocker. Released in approximently...hmm...2007 or 2008 I be live it was. I am not certain on the release date and I am far too apathetic to put in the effort to look up said release date. Well, I was fairly disappointed. I could get a better laugh by viewing clips of people getting injured on YouTube for free. I'm a sadist so SUE ME! The plot synopsis centers around the story of an out of work, "has-been" drummer known as "Fish" who used to be a rather zealous member of a band known as Vesuvius. However, in the opening sequence they ditch him and move on towards fame and glory. 20 years later he is an unemployed middle-aged man with an infernal grudge against his former comrades of er...(I believe the appropriate modern term among said sub-culter is) "rock". However, after joining a high school band (one of the members is a morbidly obese nerdy adolescent who is his nephew), he becomes an Internet legend due to a mishap evolving a digital practice session and Fish being nude. Well the band gets a tour because of the mishap.

Long story short, outside of that there really is no actual plot line. It's like a really bad form of fictional biography. No plot, no real character development. Most of the humor is just toilet humor (however some of the more witty jokes made me laugh), but most of the laughs you could get from a jack-ass episode. Overall I give it 3 out of 5.

To Mick: A Descent Boss Concept

2009-08-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

Hello viewers, this short post is ment for Mick West. But I wont stop you other viewers from reading this. Well, Mick...sense you are in the video game industry I thought of a descent idea for a boss monster. I thought that you would like to hear it...I basically took the basic concept of Legion (or Grandfalloon as he is also known as) from the Castlevaina Series and made it into a sort of puzzle, tetris-themed boss.

You see, this boss monster would sort of be one of those "Giant Radioactive Space Flies from Nowhere" kind of bosses. Ie, the bosses that random make their short debut as a final encounter in a dungeon or level but have no real significance to the plot. Sort of like Dead Hand (Boss of the Bottom of the Well mini dungeon and mini-boss of the Shadow Temple) from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. You see, Legion was a Cthulhu-Type enitiy surrounded by a sphere of featureless humanoid monsters. But what if we take away the corpses and replace them with Tetris Blocks? Now the appearance of this monster's shell would be similar to that of Ozma (the super boss of Final Fantasy IX), but instead of just a swirling mass of color, it's a swirling mass of Tetris Blocks. The bottom side would be of a darker hue while the upper would be of a lighter hue. Each semi-spherical mass of blocks would be spiraling in opposite directions giving it a psychedelic edge.

Now the arena would be a large...hm, let's say 100ft by 100ft giving you some space to move around in. Now sometimes a block would drop down from the mass and it would fall to earth. As the player you would have to push and arrange the blocks so that as they fell they would create a wall that extends from one side of the room to the other. This creates a mighty blast of energy that shoots upward incinerating the creature's defences greatly if it wanders into the blast. All blocks used to create the wall are subsequently incinerated as well. So it's basically 3-D Tetris with the occasnal netherworldy tentacle that launches down from the mass to pick you up and throw you agianst the spiked wall. After you deal enough damage to one side of the sphere, it inveters on it's self and vice verse until at least 70% of the blocks are destroyed and the core monster transfigures the remaining blocks into large green venomus looking insects that swarm around the master enity. These bare an uncanning resemablnce to the aliens of Space Invaders

They shoot small jets of acid at you, so you have to kill them. But the master creature will constantly produce more and more of them. So you have to attack the festering pours that dot it's alien body until you destroy them all...killing it.

Of course an orchestral, trans-Siberian version of Korobeiniki will be playing through out the battle and will be slowly growing more intense throughout the fight as you expose more and more of the creatures true body. The transition would be similar to the Hall of the Mountain King's. At first it would be just a soft piano version, but as more and more the tetris blocks fall apart...the orchestra kicks in slowly until it's a booming symphonic masterpiece when the master creature emerges from it's shell...

Personally I think that it's a really cool idea, but I don't know. Sense your the expert on these things...I thought that I would get your ipion.

Good, god...humanity is doomed: Cullenism

2009-08-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

Ok...I had a little faith left in humanity that maybe..there was roughly 5% of the populace who aren't utterly moronic fools. Well, good god how I was WRONG!!! The fact that roughly 18% of the populace believes that the sun revolves around the earth, I can live with...but this? THIS?!?! God, how I hate my peers with burning passion. Oh why, you ask? Why? *evil glare* oh, I WILL tell you WHY!!! Crazed rabid fan girls are one thing but CULLENISM!!?!!?!!! What the hell happened?!?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!!!!

*pant, pant, pant* OK, I don't even know what to say to this. Pardon my language but, WHAT THE F*&^%!!!!????!!!! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE F#$%!!!???!!! ARE YOU INSANE OR JUST RETA...no, that would be a complement to you and an insult to all the humans with down syndrome. YOU, are just...f@#$ing MORONS!!!

OK, now Stephenie Meyer...see what kind of nightmare you have created SEE!!?!! AGH!!!

Now, what is Cullenism? Ok, Cullenism is composed of criminally insane and/or just utterly moronic fan girls who believe that all the protagonist and antagonists of the Twilight Saga are in fact deities. No, friggin joke. With some painful research, I discovered further details about this...horrific variation of Scientology.

n the grand scheme of Cullenism, there are four gods and now four goddesses that we pray to; Edward, Bella, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, each god can (and probably will) have a different significance to each Cullenist. However, each Cullen god is unique in his or her own way.

Edward is the god of protection, chivalry and game.
Bella is the god of Insecurities, Closure and beginnings
Carlisle is the god of health and prosperity.
Esme is the god of care and compassion.
Jasper is the god of war, strategy and educational pursuit.
Alice is the god of fashion, fun and love.
Emmett is the god of strength, friendliness and happiness.
Rosalie is the god of beauty and grace.

In turn, each god/goddess can be prayed to for different reasons, at different times, some, you may pray to regularly (because your an idoitic teenage girl who is never going to have sexual intercorse until your forty), others on occasion. Each god is equally as...disturbing...as the next. There may be an idiotic different reason you pray to a certain one, whether it's because you're part of their non-existent house, or because they're your favorite Cullen, or perhaps it's because you're in need of their specific guidance...because your an idiot...

As a "Cullenist" they believe:
Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real
Stephenie Meyer is the (or one of the) best author(s)
The twilight series should be worshiped
If you are good in life, you will be bless with eternity with the Cullens, if you are bad in life, you will be sent to James' cave

...I think I need to claim bankruptcy and begin to build my luxurious bomb-shelter that I have been planing you quite some time now...good God, I need to prepare for Stephenie Meyer's conquest for world domination...AGH!!! This infernal cult has reduced adolscents to a mere husk of it's former chaotic and remotely respectable glory...*slams head agianst keyboard*...

Harry Potter Review and Contamplating Geometeric Paradoxes

2009-08-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

This is purely targeted for Mick West...well, I have defied the laws of physics themselves...I tessellated regular tetrahedrons...of course I used 3-D images but IT WORKS YOU CAN TELLESATE THEM!!! I spent the last few hours contemplating it, you just have to have the sides pressing against one another perfectly to form the paradox. (Bursts into insane laughter) Most of you probably don't even know what tessellating is...ah well, look it up but I did it. I even drew it out without making my head explode, though I may be insane now.

Now, a movie review: Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince.

I was fairly disappointed with this film. The acting was good, but the editing was god awful as well was the design of various creatures. Specifically the Inferni, they had so much potently to be horrific ghouls of malice and spite...but the special effects department apparently liked Peter Jackson's interpretation of the Lord of the Rings so much that they utterly ripped off Gollum. It was really bad. Not to mention they spent way to much time with the teen age love story, they should have focused more on the corruption of the Ministry of Magic like they did in the book and actually show the new minster and add that into the plot. Many interesting aspects of the Death Eaters and the Ministry was utterly replaced by whining and a god awful love story. I would give it 2 stars, but the role of Belatrix Lestrange played by Helena Bonham-Carter (OK, she's my celeberty crush...sew me...at least it isn't Megan Fox.) boosted it up to 2 1/2 stars.

Prepare to Cry Patheic Fan Girls: Kefka vs Sephiroth, The Ultima Showdown

2009-07-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

Well then, I have returned you patheic flies. Well, you followers are'nt flies...but, whatever it matters not! Now to the point. You PATHEIC fan girls...prepare to have your bizzare sexual fantasies of that sliver haired, one-winged mama's boy CRUSHED BY MY VERBAL FIST OF MANY MEATS!!! (Brusts into insane, chaotic laughter) anyways...now who is infact the better villain: Kefka Palazzo or Sephiroth Hojo (Just to let you viewers know, Hojo is the last name of a major antagonist who fathered Sephiroth...to some degree)? This will be similar to my Lord of the Rings veruses A Walk to Remeber rant. It was hard but I made it work...oh, yes...I did. >:)

Origins

Kefka: An abused child taken in by Cid (head of the Magitek Research Faclity), and volunteered to be the first human to undergo Magitek Infusion. This granted him magical powers similar to that of the ethereal beings known as Espers. He soon became a general of the Magitek Army, however the side affects of the infusion slowly drove him to insanity. He began to wear bizarre gowns, wore clownish makeup, even played with dolls and his once shy, methodical mind was metaphorically replaced with an immature, sadistic, nihilistic one...

Sephiroth: Infused with the genetic material of an extra-terrestrial deity known as JENOVA by his deranged father (Professor Hojo) when he was a mere fetus in his whorish mother's womb, Sephiroth was born with physically and mentally superior ability compared to his peers. He joined the SOLIDER unit (essentially the secerte police of the world of FFVII) of Shinra Electirc Power Company and became it's most well known, respected and powerful unit. However, he soon found after researching the archives of Shinra that he was injected with the cells of Jenova. Thus, because Jenova was a powerful alien goddess, he believed that it was his birthright to rule the planet...and demolish the human race with his power, allowing him and mother to recreate the world as it should be...

Winner: Kefka, notice the odd similarty between the two. Kefka came first! Also, he wasnt a mama's boy.

Evilness

Kefka: During the begging of the game, he was comically insane and wasn't that much of a threat. Even the poisoning of the water supply of the kingdom of Doma was done with a dark comedy. But, once you saw him torture a pair of test subjects (Shiva and Ifrift), brunt down an whole city just because he didn't like how it looked and drained the power of countless espers for his own personal gain and mass murdered them shortly after...you realised that he was force to be reconned with. Oh hoe, the fun doesn't end there...he back stabs the emperor, pushes him off a cliff and absorbs the power of a trio of mythical statues and REDUCES THE PLANET TO BURNT HUSK OF IT'S FORMER GLORY! As a God of Magic, he sits atop of a tower built from the ruins of cities that he single handily destroyed, blasting away the small pockets of civilization remaining with the Light of Judgement (an ungodly powerful spell that summons a colossal beam of death, sort of like a magical nuke).

Sephiroth: Once he went insane from the truth of his origins, Sephiroth went on a homicidal rampage burning the small hamlet of Nibelhim to the ground in his wrath. But, shortly after reuniting with his mother, a whinny emo kid named Cloud stabbed him and launched him down a chasm. Sephiroth did surive and absorbed some of Jenova's cells decretly from her and begain to undergo a metamorphisis within an underground labryinth of etcoplysim known as the Whrilwind Maze. While fragments of Jenova began causing death and carnage shaped as Sephiroth, he was in hibernation. However, he did impale Cloud's girlfriend and drove him partialy insane. Halfway through the game, he began to summon a massive celestail hunk of rock towards the planet...this was known as Meteor. His plan was to have the meteor smash into the planet and to have the mythical essence of the planet emegre...he would intercept and abosrb it becoming invincable. This would also destroy all life on the planet. But, the players killed him before meteor landed...while it did destroy a capital city, humanity recovered swiftly.

Winner: Kefka, he massacred thousands without mummy's help and also actually destroyed the planet to some degree.

Music

Kefka: His main theme is disturbingly perky and yet malevolent. Like carnival music but more obviously evil. His final boss theme is a 17 minute long fuga of insanity known as Dancing Mad, it has four tiers and has a 5 minute long organ solo.

Sephiroth: His main theme is called Those Chosen by The Planet. It is a dirge like piece with a booming percussion background with a deep choir. He has two boss themes, a techno piece known as a Birth of God, witch has Those Chosen by The Planet mixed into it. But his most iconic piece is One-Winged Angel. It is a famous piece which consits of a Latin choir with lyrics stolen from Carl Offs Carmina Burna, while it is a good piece...it is no match for Dancing Mad's utter insanity.

Winner: Kefka, 17 miunte long fugas are the gateway to my soul.

Quotes

Kefka: Kefka has a dark sense of humor which is reflected in his quotes. Often times he brusts into sadistic laughter before or after killing someone. Some of his most iconic lines are, "Why do people insist on creating things that will inevitably be destroyed? Why do people cling to life, knowing that they must someday die? ...Knowing that none of it will have meant anything once they do?", "Bleh! You people make me sick! You sound like lines from a self-help book! If that's how it's going to be... I'll snuff them all out! Every last one of your sickening, happy little reasons for living! " and "Ouch! B-blood... Blood! Blood!!! You vicious brat! Argh... Grrr...! You know, you really are a stupid... Vicious... Arrogant, whiny, pampered, backstabbing, worthless... LITTLE BRAT!!! " Need I go on?

Sephiroth: He dose'nt talk that much, most of his notable lines are in the movie based off of the game in which he made his debut. His dialouge is reflected in his lack of emotion, misanthropy and love for his mummy...aw. "You should have ruled this planet. You were stronger, smarter. But then they came, those inferior dullards...They came and took this planet away from you. But don't be sad, Mother. I am with you now. (Rips away the casing to reveal Jenova) We meet at last...Mother.", "You are just a puppet... You have no heart... and cannot feel any pain... How can there be any meaning in the memory of such a being? What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion.", "I will, never be a memory. "

Winner: Kefka! The nilhist aspects of his rants are something that will never be toped by a preety boy whos an UTTER mama's boy.

Top Ten Villains of All Time

2009-07-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm borde I couldn't think of anything better to do right now so here I am listening to the soundtrack of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone ranting away. Anyway's, my topic tonight is top ten villains of all time. Well here it goes.

#10) Zorn and Thorn, Final Fantasy IX
Though not exactly the major villains of the game, Zorn and Thorn are some of the most underrated villains in the media. They are two court jesters gone horribly, horribly wrong. To put it roughly their like those two little girls from the Shinning, but they speak in antimetabole which is always cool. Despite the fact that they are freakishly short, they have to power to drain your soul. How awesome is that, also I love their theme music.

"We are in Trouble!" "Trouble we are in!"

Their role in the story is to find a capture the princess of Alexandra who ran away from the capital city, by any means necessary...so that they can extract the mythical power within her immortal soul. And that means being too lazy to do it their selves so they create the Black Waltzes, three horrific scarecrow-like golems with the power of pyromancy (the magical power over fire). Eventually they get her and extract said power and use it to summon unearthly demigods of unspeakably destructive power for their genocidal queen to use. To put it roughly it doesn't end well. Don't worry it's not just video game villains here.

#9) The Wicked Witch of the West, The Wizard of Oz
I know what your thinking, what the hell is this? Well, if you think about it...she's really screwed up. Though she may look like that kid who died because he painted himself green to look like the Incredible Hulk, but she had some awesome moments. For God's sake, she almost kills a minor and her dog in a slow and emotionally painful process just for a pair of ruby slippers. Also she has some of the most iconic minions ever: FLYING MONKEYS!!! I don't care what you say, flying monkeys are the most bad ass minion ever.

"I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!"

The woman has become quite literally the arch type of wickedness in the minds of many. She also has had her own spin-off series, Wicked. I'm sorry, but despite the utter generic and archetypal nature of this villainies, she takes number nine on my list.

#8) Cthulhu, Call of Cthulhu
Cthulhu, try to pronounce it...it's physically imposable. No really, it is. HP Lovecraft designed most of his creations to be utterly incomprencable for the human mind to even remotely contemplate. Anyways, Cthulhu is the kind of villain that really strikes fear into your heart, because you know that the protagonists don't stand a remote chance against him, he is the high priest of the Great Old Ones, you don't f@#$ with Cthulhu.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

The literal translation of that is "In his dead house of R'lyeh, dread Cthulhu waits dreaming". Well, here's a brief description of the poster boy of Lovecraftian Horror as we know it. There's nothing to describe, if I gave you an even remotely psychically accurate description of it you would go running out the front door in your under ware gibbering, "Ia, Ia, Cthulhu Fhtagn!" Ok, that's all that there is to it. Even Chuck Norris is no match for Cthulhu. Basically he's an elder god who is entombed thousands of miles under the ocean within the walls of the ruined, non-euclidean city of R'lyeh in a coma-like state awaiting the time that the stars are "right" so that he can awaken, pretty much causing the end of this planet's existence. There, happy now?

#7) Dr. Evil, Austin Powers Triology
Perhaps one of the most quotable villains on this list. Dr. Evil is purely for comic relief, but he's just a fantastic parody of the archtypical evil genius. Not to mention he has some of the worst plans known to man, for any remotely intelligent human would figure out that it would utterly destroy the world rather than bend it to his will. I mean send a wave a nuclear missiles into the core of the planet to cause every volcano to erupt would cause not only most of the contents to be engulfed in magma, reducing the human race into an endangered species but the ash and smoke launched into the sky would cause a cataclysmic shower of pyroclastic material also blocking out the sun for several months destroying all life. But he is an awesome villain, reminds me a lot of Dwight K. Surte from the Office. He also has a midget minion, always awesome.

"Mini-Me, stop humping the laser. Honest to God, why don't you and the giant laser get a fricking room, for Christ's sake?"

It was so hard just to pick one quote from him (sob). Anyways, his son Scott was also quite humorous I thought. Just, he was in a way the ultimate doppelganger to the protagonist Austin Powers.

#6) Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (aka Nny), from the graphic novel of the same title
My mother would not approve of this one, Uwwee-hee-hee-hee. Anyhow, you cannot deny the fact that he is an awesome villain. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is like me but with extremely homicidal tendencies. He is...well...at the pinnacle of uttermost insanity that is what makes him such a good villain. Nny is just insane to the point that it becomes disturbingly dark and yet hilarious comedy.

"Wacky!? What the hell kind of word is that? WACKY!? I HATE that word!! Fewer words are as excruciatingly stupid!!! And used in description of me!! F#$%!"

See the similarity? Nny is an interesting character indeed, he is an artist who was driven mad by his own works of art which depicted similar images to that of the works of HP Lovecraft. Thus he became extremely misanthropic and narristic, two things which can cause mass destruction when mixed together. Which it did, for he has a nasty habit of utterly mutilating and slaughtering those who annoy him in any way, shape, form or manifestation. But don't get the wrong image, this is not tourter porn. This comic is just about the life of an utterly insane psychopathic man in his late twenties. Not to mention it is loaded with dark humor to the point of overflowing.

#5) Darth Vader, Star Wars Saga
You all know who this is...(hums the Imperial March) Yes, Lord Vader, the Dark Lord of Sith, That Psychopath who was Once that Whinny Slave Boy on Tattonine. He started as the only rival to Jar-Jar Binks on the pathetic scale. Anakin Skywalker that whinny emo kid who was depicted as an angry teen (but who wasn't really all that angry). But suddenly, that the end of Star Wars: Episode III, a miracle happened...he grew a pair of testicles! And became the cybernetic dictator-fallen Jedi who created a new arch type of villain, but that's beside the point.

"This day will be long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi, and will soon see the end of the Rebellion."

Darth Vader needs no back story, it's too well known. If you don't know his back story then I pity you for being so grievously uneducated about film. Well, because he's an asthmatic zealot reflection of Nazi-Germany, he's only number 5.

#4) Garland, Final Fantasy I/IX
Yes, again...Final Fantasy, and it wont be the last. Garland is a reoccurring villain throughout the series. In the original game, he only appeared as a wayward knight who became the nefarious demon lord Chaos. In the 9th instalment, he was an android who created both the protagonist and the antagonist to destroy all life on the planet so that he could merge it into another, parallel reality. In the original game, his best quote was...

"I Garland, will knock you all down!"

In FF IX it was...

...Do not limit memory to just one individuals experiences from birth. That is only the surface. Every life born into this world, whether natural or artificial, requires a parent. And that parent also requires a parent. Life is connected, one to another... If you trace the root of all life, there exists one source. The same can be said for memory. All life constitutes an intelligence that holds memory beyond experience. Memory is not isolated within individuals. It is an accumulation of generations of memories that continues to evolve. You can say that memory and evolution go hand in hand. But most life-forms do not understand the true nature of memories... ...which explains why most memories never cross paths and are left..."untangled."

Pretty sweet isn't it? When it comes to philosophical villains, Garland has to be one of the best out there. Even in the original game he utterly reshaped the planet by manipulating the grandfather paradox (time travel)!

#3) The Joker, Batman
The Joker has to be one of the more disturbing villains on my list, he is an insane criminal mastermind who just wants to watch society crumble before his feet. An agent of chaos, and when there is chaos there is randomness. And randomness either leads to humor or carnage. In the Joker's case it lead to carnage...

"Wanna know how I got these scars? [nods encouragingly] My father was...a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself; he doesn't like that. Not...one...bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and he says, "Why so serious?" He comes at me with the knife, "Why so serious?!" He sticks the blade in my mouth, "Let's put a smile on that face!" And... why so serious?"

The Joker was a great villain, he was an insane psychopath with clown makeup. Not to mention he added a great amount of dark humor into the film (heh...heh...pencil trick...heh...heh)...

#2) Kefka Palazzo, Final Fantasy VI

Yes, the one and only Kefka. This man has some major issues. A political genius with a clown fetish, Kefka is one of the most underrated villains in the video game industry. He started out, when you first meet him as a psychopathic general who takes joy in poisoning rivers near by enemy towns. Of course he was mostly for comic relief, the emperor was the real villain then. But soon, after you knock him around a few times, the court mage's power grows as he betrays the empire and obtains god-like powers. Becoming an overdeity of ultimate power over magical energy. Thus, he actually destroyed the world and reduced it to a mere burnt husk of it's former glory. Sitting atop of an infernal tower composed of the remains of various cities, he blasts the scattered remains of civilization into utter oblivion with a powerful spell called the Light of Judgement.

"Why do people insist on creating things that will inevitably be destroyed? Why do people cling to life, knowing that they must someday die? ...Knowing that none of it will have meant anything once they do?"

Kefka is just an awesome villain, he also has some of the best dialogue in the series. He is overall, just bat$#!^ crazy. Like the Joker, he just wants to watch society crumble before him. Unlike the Joker, he dose get to watch it, multiple times. He's also nihilist, nihilists make awesome villains.

#1) Invader Zim, from the televison series of the same title
Yes, yes LORD OF HUMANS, I SHALL RULE YOU ALL WITH AN IRON FIST, YOU OBEY THE FIST!!! Zim, the pinnacle of incompetence. He is an alien Sergent who got banished by his overlords, because well...at their last attempt for a galactic conquest, Zim got a wee bit zealous for the destruction and went on an omnicidal rampage on a mech. So, they sent him on a "secert mission" to the other side of the Milky Way. Utterly obvious to the fact that they were trying to get rid of him, Zim expected the mission with extreme vigor. He was also given an extremely dysfunctional robot (GIR) to "aid" him, claiming that it was advanced he was given it. After 6 months of flying to the general direction of the corrdents of his location, he found...Earth. A planet filled with the most utterly pathetically dimwitted forms of life in the universe. So, Zim endless plotted the destruction of the god forsaken backwater world, but is endlessly thwarted by Dib (a young boy with an obscenely large head and apparently the only intelligent human in America, he constantly thwarts Zim's half-assed schemes to either rule or obliterate humanity with a combation of technology and common sense).

Zim: But I chose this particular worm hole especially for the occasion. You see, at the end of this wormhole lies: A ROOM with a MOOSE!!

Dib: AAAAAHHHH- Wait a minute! Did you say, a room with a moose?
Zim: Yes. Your fear is overwhelming, no?
Dib: Um...no. What's so scary about a room with a stupid moose? I mean, yeah, that's a big moose, but really...
Zim: Oh, you'll see. PREPARE YOUR BLADDER FOR IMMINENT RELEASE!
Dib: ...

Zim isn't evil persay, he's just ungodly zealous and misanthropic. But then again, the general population of America is portared quite accurtly. He often times has a hiliarously diffucult time "fitting in" with the filthy adolscents that he has to put up with. Often times he goes on lengthly rants, usually ending with "CRUSE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Also we bare a similar vocabular and social status. It's nice to have a villain whom you can realte to.

Good God...WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO FINAL FANTASY!!!

2009-07-20T12:27:00.000-07:00

Hello gentle viewers, tis' me Nollaf again. Sorry that I have neglected to post recently but I have been on a lengthily trip to Yellowstone National Park...it was...kinda fun. Anyhow, I have come to rant about how Sqaure Enix is destroying the franchise of Final Fantasy. 15 years ago, you had a awesome RPG with a final battle based off of Divine Comedy, a tower of Pandemonium and thousands of horrific aberrations before you and on top, Kefka Palazzo...in a monstrous form resembling Lucifer himself. Now that is BAD ASS!!! (Pardon my french) Final Fantasy was always a great franchise, with a brutally awesome storyline which often times reflected modern day issues seething with rich character development and a musical score that could make Chuck Norris cry. That was FF during 1994-2000. But then, the fan girls came...because of Sephiroth.

Sephiroth, the One-Winged Angel...he was a flawed villain, a homicidal mama's boy who wanted to become a god, destroy all life and recreate the planet as a utopia. Then he would sail the cosmos with his disturbingly alien mother, Jenova. Aw...isn't that sweet? Sephiroth was your fallen angel sort of villain, he used to be a famous hero who worked for an organization called SOLIDER (essintatally the game's equivalent of the army) a branch of the Shinra Electronic Power Company (Shinra Inc. for sort). But then he found that he was injected with the DNA of an alien goddess named Jenova and went insane, thinking that it was his birth right to rule the planet with his umm..."mother". Cool concept, he was sort of the hidden villain, he stayed in hiding throughout most of the game and had his "mother" do most of the dirty work for him, including killing one of the lead female protagonists (Click here to view one the most famous scenes in video game history). Keep in mind, most of the carnage was caused by either Jenova or the biological horrors known as the WEAPONS which the main characters accidentally released. Sephiroth had no major quotes to speak of, no epic moments, he didn't really do much of the carnage in the game.

But he had one saving grace, looking ridiculously hot. I mean, "Edward Cullen" hot. That's how FF began to become shallow. Final Fantasy VIII, wasn't really all that good...the character development was replaced by an incredibly long and complicated love story, to put it roughly it was a soap opera in a semi-futuristic setting with scantily clad witches as the villains. Not to mention the main villainies suffered from the Mortal Kombat disease (ie, replacing C with K) due to an awful mistranslation error which was fixed in later copies of the game.

Now we come to Final Fantasy IX, the villain was Kuja. Oh good god...Kuja. His personality was a mishmash of the best qualities of Kefka and Sephiroth. Unfortunately Kuja was such a god damn pretty boy that you couldn't even tell his gender really, there was this huge debate about Kuja's gender. Why? Click here. All though he did have some of the best minions of all time (Black Waltz, Zorn and Thorn), the guy walked around with a man thong...that isn't sexy that's just ridiculous. But apparently, love-starved fan girls disagree with me. I can't go to a chat board about Final Fantasy IX without seeing KUJA'S A SEXXXY BEAST!!! or something similar.

That was when the line between Final Fantasy and just your normal bull-crap anime based RPG was getting disturbingly thin. Now there's all these Fan Fiction writings about Cloud and Sephiroth making out, I'm all for gay rights but some things shouldn't be on the Internet.

Now, when Final Fantasy VII was just Final Fantasy VII. That was great, I loved it. But...then it had an anime series, then at least 3 spin off titles and then a freaking movie! What happened?! It's a video game people, one of the greatest games ever but, what the hell! Your turning one of the best creations in the history of electronic arts into just another commericalized piece of crap!

Now, Final Fantasy XI and XII were just AWFUL. The good thing about it was the graphics and one or two pieces of music. What happened to good old RPG when the story and character development made the games what it was? Now you have the main character waltz around without a shirt! Don't believe me? Click here. The story is getting repetitive and the characters are getting frankly shallow and archetypal (there only saving grace is awesome hair). But hopefully they will come to their senses and make FFXIV into a reflection of the good old days when your villains were insane dictators who actually destroyed the world...sigh.

On the Lighter Side

Well, despite their all too shallow and utter lack of taste in video game villains...fangirls are...kind of cute...I guess. With the makeup and the awesome hair...but meh. Too bad that they take style over substance any day of the week. Which is why the franchise is becoming rather shallow, but at least they know who Jenova is. But it's just their also into Twilight often times which is kinda sad. But they're...kinda...cute...esppically the older ones.

Stimming and It's Signifanace

2009-07-05T13:34:00.000-07:00

Hello gentle viewers, I have returned to rant some more. Aren't you lucky (Kefka Laugh)? Anyways, I am here to talk about a little thing called stimming, and no it isn't some weird sex thing you filthy pervets! So, what is stimming?

Exscript from Wikipedia

Stimming is a term for a particular form of stereotypy, a repetitive body movement (often done unconsciously) that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner. It is shorthand for self-stimulation, and a stereotypy is referred to as stimming under the hypothesis that it has a function related to sensory input. Stereotypy is one of the symptoms listed by the DSM IV for autism and is observed in about 10% of non-autistic young children.

This is true, and most of you people most likely know this but...I have autism, well high functioning anyway. And I do in fact stim (NOT LIKE THAT YOU F*&^ING PERVERTS!!!), now stimming is more than just mere stimulation, but more of a simulation for me. You see, when I stim, I undergo a temporary psychological metamorphosis so to speak. While I can still see the real world around me, it extremely hazy and the details fade as I see solutes of things which I am thinking of. Not detailed but just vague and abstract images, almost ethereal visages. But however, I rarely need to have a visual aid for this because my mind is so active at this time that it's almost like a self-caused high. The phonical aspects of life and existence are almost utterly shunned from my mind as the music or other miscellaneous phonic aspects of which I am thinking of are not just echoed in my mind. I can actually hear them as an external force, almost as if they were "voices" and I was suffering from schizophrenia. Often times my subconscious repeats certain thoughts over and over again in a rhythmic like movement, sort of like when a CD skips.

All and all, its a sort of collision that only I can sense between two worlds: the real world of material existence and the nonsense world of my bizarre mind. But for some unknown reason, the only way that I can maintain this solace is by holding my hands up to my mouth and flailing my fingers as if I was a crab and they were my mandibles. But however, this is easily disturbed by a loud noise, especially a voice can swiftly pull me out of this "collision". I do not know if this is also what happens to others who stim, but it is strange...and I am telling the truth...it's sort of like how Louie described the world through the eyes of a vampire, "You might as well as heaven what is sees, no living man can know."

A Discography to Moments in My Life

2009-07-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

Well now, I have a new feature in my blog. Behold, a Discography to Moments in My Life! Huzzah, now I can listen to 30 second samples of my life on this website and evoke it upon you people too! Now, I shall tell you people the meaning of each of this songs.

Nollaf's Tower Overture of Apathy and Emoness

OK, this song is a reflection of this blog in a nutshell. It was separated into two different sections because it was so damn long, but overall I think it has a similar atmosphere to my blog therefore it works. It's also a remix of Dancing Mad so that's another reason why I love it so.

I haz a Monster...LEEROY JENKINS!!!

This song I think suits the scenario when I have had excessive amounts of caffeine thus transforming me into an emo who hates the outside world to an insane hyperactive twitching nightmare of hot topic merchandise. Yay...I think it works well with the mood, if you have seen me hyper than you know all too well the unspeakable horrors of me on caffeine.

An Ode to My Exs...Well to the Ones That Didn't Try to Kill Me

Believe it or not, Nollaf here has had several love interests in his life. 12 total, apparently it's something about misanthropic teens who enjoy ranting for it's own sake that attracts women. I would like it to attract older Gothic hotties, but that's unfortunately not the case at all. I get two kids of women, the manipulative sluts and the emo girls who are obsessed with Edward Cullen and put up with me as a semi-worthy substitute for the fictional sex god. *Sigh*, well this is high school where really 90% of all the teens are more shallow than a kiddie pool. Well, hopefully at Davinci I shall find someone truly worthy...then I'll wake up...*sob*.

16-Bit Oblivion (My Childhood in A Nut Shell)

Eh, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Well at my age most games were 16-bit and so I went with the theme of Kefka, my kinda idol but not really (because he was a insane psychopath who really destroyed the world after he took it over).

A New Feature

2009-06-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hello, again. Tonight, I have a new feature on my blog. Some of you may or may not find this a good thing. But, I am trying something new. I will add a section of my blog regularly (or not so regularly as the case calls for) called the Lighter Side. Now, the Lighter Side is when I mention on thing that is not wreathed in madness and despair. Here's a sample of the Lighter Side.

On the Lighter Side

Um...Taco Bell is still in business, to my knowledge. Ugh...haven't been outside in so long, it's hard to tell. I think they are...I hope. Well, if they are hypothetically still open, we can still drown our sorrows in buckets of chips filled to the brim with preservatives with a side of synthetic cheese-flavored liquid. Hehheh, I can see it now, some fat kid running out the door in fear that Taco Bell went bankrupt due to the swine flu contaminating the food, because of the immigration, get it? Eh, sounded funnier in my head. Anyways...um...look I'm still working on this. I'm doing this as a request, OK?! I'm not good with acting optimistic.

So, you People are Embrassed by my Point of View?

2009-06-28T20:23:00.001-07:00

Well, then after a brief word with a viewer. It has come to my attention that some of you viewers consider me to be a bastard. Now, personally I couldn't care less about what the general public thinks of my point of view. Here's a little post about how I'm not UTTERLY corrupt.

I don't go around maiming people, OK? I just don't see the point in helping someone directly who hasn't helped you in a similar way. If someone is kind or helps me, I thank them and move on. If someone hinders or insults me, either I do a similar deed or I just walk away. Now, for the comedy of my previous blog. A viewer left a comment that was very deep and full of emotion, negative towards me. A parental figure, he claimed that I was "mean and spiteful". OK, that was just for dark humor. I don't see the harm in it. Besides the chances of that singer running into my blog is extremely minor or second to non-existent. Some of you may think that I was mocking the special Olympics, I am NOT! I was mocking the way that it was coordinated. Specifically the event coordination, I would never mock the mentally disabled. Did I mention anything negative about the athletes, no.

And if this singer did find my blog and if she did read this article, if she can't take criticism, she has no real purpose as a singer. A true singer would just be insulted for a while, send some hate mail and move on after a month at the most. Truth be told, I am writing for myself and if anyone gets insulted, well I'm not the most crazed, most evil bastard floating in the void of the Internet. If anyone is ashamed of me, very well. I cannot change that, nothing can. And if you viewers find my concepts upsetting, well you can just send me some hate mail and walk away (if it is really bigotry or is flawed, I'll post and exploit your flaws on multiple levels so please think carefully before you bombard me).

Was I mocking the Olympics, on a level, yes I was. I was mocking they way that it was poorly designed. But, I do not see any sin in pointing out how poorly organized it was, or if I gave a brutal review of a singer. My point is, there are many crueler people on this planet, why waste your ammo on me when you could be doing so to a child pornography site or a Neo-Nazi organization site. My point is, their is no sin in exorcising your 1st amendment rights and exploiting controversial concepts and material that others will most likely find offensive. As long as you have an intelligent cause and not just bigotry as a source. If you exploit flaws in an all too sensitive topic, well then people are bound to get upset. It was a risk that I knew and took. And for anyone offended, I sincerely apologize. I may be edited, yes. But censored, never.

If you people haven't figured out this by now, here is the truth about this blog: I am a homosexual. LOL, jk, jk...hehheh, sorry, I had to throw in something cyncial in their somewhere. Anyways, (ahem) I write for myself, just as JRR Tolkien did with the Lord of the Rings, this is my honset point of view. If you pepole have an issue with it, well you don't have to read it.

Nollaf's Tower Goes to the Special Olympics

2009-06-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hello, little fools who are strange enough to read this blog without running out the door screaming (due to the philosophical concepts frequently mentioned throughout this blog that reflect in actually intelligent ideas). Yesterday, I volunteered. No, what...volunteered isn't the right word. I was press-ganged by my parents to "volunteer" at the Special Olympics. This year, it was held at the Aggie Stadium of UC Davis, practically at my doorstep. Normally on a Friday Night, I would lock the doors, get some European cheeses and crackers and play some World of Warcraft. But, my parents dragged me to this event. Their motives are unknown to me, but I think that they were trying to open up my heart (and making it 3x it's size, giving me the strength of TEN emos, plus 2). Yeah, I did the community service, but my heart is still as cold and hallow as it was that afternoon.

My job was simple, to usher the athletes to there seats. They had us get there an hour earlier with not a single job for us to do. So we sat their for an hour some pissed off mother (not mine, one of the athletes) was telling me how to usher them, fortunately I did put up with her infernal gibbering for too long. I donned my IPod and listened to some Final Fantasy VI Original Soundtrack...(sighs with solace) anyways, an hour later the opening torch ceremony began. I just pointed towards the general direction that they were supposed to go for about half an hour, once I was stationed.

However, one thing made it all worth while. You know how in ALL sporting events like this some scantally clad, amateur pop singer that NO ONE has ever heard of before comes up stage and sings our empire's, sorry I mean country's "national anthem". Now, she came over for a second song. It was some sort of sexual hype song, the choirs was "I coming up so you better get me started". Why would they sing that song? The selection of the musical score was not very well done either, a majority of the songs were orchestral version of rock songs with highly suggestive lyrics. Not to mention due to the background audio, the singer was almost instantly thrown off key. My mother and I laughed into the sunset, so that was fun.

After the torch was lit, I left. I was not moved as a person, it did not feel anything good in my heart, if anything it was humorous to mock the audio. Well, if anything I won karma points (if karma really exists, BIG if). The whole experience did not change me in any definition of the word, I remain the same evil, misanthropic ranter that I always have been.

Why Morals Do Not Exist

2009-06-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

OK, after a conversation/arguments with my mother last night I have decided to blog about moral nihilism and how (unlike most forms of nihilism) it is somewhat practical. Moral nihilism is the belief that morals are just points of view and do not exist. In other words, moral absolutes do not exist. Now, I'm sure a bunch of crazy religious people are going to jump out of the shadows and bite my head off about how I'm wrong and how God's will is right. Well, then let's go over the ten commandments.

These are direct exscripts from the Exodus, so I don't want to hear any one whining about how I got these wrong, OK?!?

13 You shall not murder. (So if a homicidal maniac is chasing you with a chainsaw and you have a gun, you can't kill him?)

12 You shall not envy. (See #9)

14 You shall not commit adultery. (So you can't sleep with your dream guy when your husband is physically abusing you?)

15 You shall not steal. (So if you and your family is starving, you can't steal a 20 from a corrupt miser?)

16 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. (Even if he wronged you several times over again but you never told the authorities?)

17 You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. (But you can do it to your own ox or donkey, and if your neighbor is a horrible wife beater you and if she really likes you, you can't steal her? And what if the slave likes you? Besides covet means to desire or lust for and according to this God gave us free will so therefore we with our primal urges we subconsciously lust for sex constantly, thus damning us.)

6 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery;

7 you shall have no other gods before me. (So, you gave us free will...but you expect us to obey you once we have found flaws in your commandments?)

8 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. (See comments above)

9 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me, (So you love us, but you will damn us if we don't obey your every word?! Not to mention in #12 you said for us not to envy but you yourself envy so WHAT THE HELL?!? )

This is just one of many reasons why there are no moral absolutes.

Now, here's another reason why morals don't exist. Everyone has their own point of view. EVERYONE! Now every one who follows a religion has their own variations of it. Now the message that the church is trying to cross is basically this, "If you don't believe exactly what I believe than your going to hell." In that case that person would be the only one in heaven. Now, how dose that work? Hmm...sounds kinda boring to me. I can totally imagine myself in Moses's hypothetical place and pointing out all the flaws and he would just be stunned, "But..hmm...um...remind me why I gave you people free will again? Look just follow the commandments or I'll smite thee into oblivion."

Now as more good and evil. What is evil? The dictionary states it as, "profoundly immoral and malevolent." Like I said earlier, everyone has their own interpretations of good and evil. Look at the terrorists of the middle-east. They think that they are doing God's will and are therefore good. While we perceive them as evil because they murder countless people who do not agree with them. And look at the Spanish Inquisition, they thought that they were doing God's will also and believed that they were holy and pure, the pagans which they tortured thought otherwise. Even the Nazi's believed that they were purifying the human race by purging the Jewish cutler.

My point is good and evil can be anything. It's all about the point of view, therefore there are no moral absolutes, for they cannot exist in this world that we live in. Even if the planet was taken over by an empire and there was no freedom of religion, people would still secretly worship their own deities and there would be terrorists. Therefore, there are no moral absolutes. Any questions.

Why Edward is a Disturbing Pedophile

2009-06-17T21:28:00.000-07:00

OK, this one will be shorter, I promise. I just want you to understand that Edward is a sociopathic freaky bastard. Now, I know all you pathetic acolytes of this...Stephenie Meyer. I stated this earlier, but I HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE TWILIGHT!!! (pant, wheeze) ahem, anyways why these pathetic teenagers fall in love with this bastard. Why? Well, I'll tell you why. Stephenie Meyer made it so that, her version of love in this book is stupid and shallow. Now, she perfected Edward physically and that's all that she cared about on this male protagonist. Naturally teenagers in general are extremely shallow and search for looks when searching for a mate. Therefore, she mentally half-assed him and thus turned him into an overprotective monster.

I know, a bunch of Twilight fan girls are going to scream, "WHY?! Edward's HAWT, what you see is a perfect reflection on the interior, right?". Sorry, you idiots but Edward has many of qualities of an abusive boyfriend. For God's sake, the bastard watches Bella has she sleeps and drains the gas from her car to prevent her from hanging out with her friends because he claims, "That their 'dangerous". He also threatens to kill Bella in a forest shortly after the infamous sparkle scene. Also, Edward is over 100 years old and he's dating a 17 year old girl. Do the f-ing math, people. And because, he's "hawt" that apparently makes up for all the times that he mentally toys with her. Thanks, Stephenie Meyer, thanks alot for sending a whole generation of women back two hundred years. Why can't you teenagers read something good like...I don't know, Physics of Immortality, or Divine Comedy?!

Why Twilight is The WORST PIECE OF LITERATURE of the 21st Century

2009-06-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

Twilight, the very first syllable of it sends over ten thousand fan girls in an insane blood lust over a fictional character. Seriously, this book is more overrated than a hardcore porno film. Now why dose this book suck so bad? Well first of all, the language used is mundane to say the least. There is no descriptive language to speak off, trust me. The only moments of remote depth are in describing the "prefect thighs" and eyes* of the male protagonist, Edward. Every five f-ing minutes the author goes into detail of how ungodly sexy this immortal is. I mean, JESUS CHRIST!!! At this point this is like soft core porno for pretentious emo girls who are too depressed to look up actual porn. Here's a snippet of the book's writing.

"About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn't know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." ...ok, see what I mean, SEE?!?

This book has the same basic plot of Romeo and Juliet, you HATE these two characters, you want them to die a painful death...but unlike Romeo and Juliet they live. This book sends the worst message you can send to a teenage girl: love is stupid and shallow and based on looks and lust alone. Excuse me while I gibber in the corner and relish in absolute hatred for anyone stupid enough to follow THAT moral. Again, this book is unoriginal...filled to the brim with cliches. Possibly to the point of overflowing. I can see it now, little pissed off Louie-Ripoffs flowing off the edges of a bucket filled with bull crap from Twilight. (God, fan girls are going to be beating me to death with baseball bats tomorrow) Now, about the protagonists. All and all, this story is just about a whinny, useless, pathetic bitch and her possessive, abusive, and over all boring boyfriend. I HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE TWILIGHT!!! The character development is non-existent, the characters are just flatter than the 14th century image of the planet and is just AWFUL!!! There is nothing, utterly NOTHING original about this book, I think I made myself clear but I'll say it again...I HATE it.

Again with the writing style, it's so...plan and empty. But then again this is targeted towards the adolescent which has the IQ lower than that of a man with down syndrome with rabid weasels teleported into his skull by occult powers. It took the concepts of Anne Rice and disemboweled them into something that your average pathetic junior high school mindless fool could remotely contemplate without spontaneously combusting with the thought of something actually intelligent.

However...there is one thing that I cannot forgive about this book...Edward goes out into sunlight! He's a vampire, and he sparkles. THE PASTY BASTARD SPARKLES!!! Stephenie Meyer, you are a moron and I HATE you. If you knew the first f-ing thing about vampires you would know that if they went outside in broad daylight, THEY WOULD COMBUST INTO FLAMES!!! Also, apparently vampires can reproduce via sexual intercourse now. Also, despite the fact that he is a near ageless entity, Edward is still a virgin. ....(twitch, twitch) must not kill...now for those of you who think otherwise about the cliche part, read below.

Example I: a new girl comes to school, she has no talents at all and is just an idiot. Example II: said girl falls in love with the hottest guy in school, GASP! Example III: Hottest guy falls in love with failure girl. Example IV: Hottest guy turns all evil and pissy (BUFFY RIP-OFF!!!) Example V: Vampire (the hottest guy) turns all emo and eats animals (and then Lestat follows him into the sewers and says, "All I have to do to find you Louie is follow the corpses of rats?") Example VI: Failure girl follows Vampire Sex-God and declares undying love for him but he basically turns into a teenage version of Angle from Buffy and pushes her away. Throw a few random events and you have Twilight! The only reason that this has so many cultist is the pathetic teenagers who drool over this book because of the sex scene in the second book.

Here's a remotely intelligent person's view on Twilight: What the hell is this garbage? It has no sense of plot or character development!

Here's an Edward Stalker's view on Twilight: OMG!!!EDWARDISSOOOHAWT!!!I dumped my boyfriend so I could be with Edward, CAUSE HE'S HAWT!!! Oh, and what's character development?

Other Edward Stalker: BACK OFF BITCH, HE'S MINE!!!

First Stalker: NO HE ISN'T!!! I READ HIS DESCRIPTION FIRST IN THE FIRST BOOK!!!

Other Edward Stalker: NNNEEEAGHHHH!!!!! (Lunges for the other girl's throat)

Gollum: And people says we have an unnatural attachment to an inanimate object...

This is a barely exaggerated conversation between two fan girls...sad isn't it? Oh and I added the Gollum part for good measure. All and all this book is nothing more than a poorly written mish-mash of Stephenie Meyer's sad and pathetic sexual fantasies. I swear to God, if Lestat is called "The Brat Prince"of the Vampire world, than Edward is their "Pathetic Emo Cash Cow of Sparkles".

* That will f-ing make the sun explode into a supernova engulfing the planet if he looks at it for too long, because they are that f-ing beautiful. Now, seriously...almost every other paragraph is just an extremely detailed description of his eyes...sometimes I think that he's like the a teenage version of Sauron, just this floating eyeball. Because that's all this book talks about, is how hot Edward is.

Good, Evil, Law, Chaos and all that s#!%

2009-06-14T13:45:00.000-07:00

Hello horrific abominations, tis me Nollaf once more. Now...today I shall talk about ethics/morals to some degree. Well, what I am really talking about is the D&D Alignment Test. Yes, this test classifies you in one of the 9 categories of D&D Ethics and Morals. There is Lawful Good (like Superman, Aerith from FFVII and Abraham Lincoln), Neutral Good (like Frodo, Gandalf and Cloud from FFVII), Chaotic Good (like my Dad, Tifa Lockheart from FFVII and Captain Krik), Lawful Neutral ( Cops, me in my earlier years), True Neutral ( Spock, Batman and Canada), Chaotic Neutral (stupid people who act on instinct or animals...that and Switzerland), Lawful Evil ( awesome people like Darth Vader and Dr. Evil), Neutral Evil (Sauron, The Witch King) and Chaotic Evil (Sephiroth from FFVII, Voldemort, Cthulhu, Hastur any classic villain).

Guess which one I am? Yes, Nollaf is: Lawful Evil! Yes, a power hungry, evil, sadistic, dictator! I am the cool, bad-ass kind of evil like Maifa Bosses and Sith Lords! WOOT! Haha, and pepole say that I'm not evil...the little patheic fools >:) . For a deeper description of my alignment, read this.

A lawful evil [person] methodically takes what he wants within the limits of his code of conduct without regard for whom it hurts. He cares about tradition, loyalty, and order but not about freedom, dignity, or life. He plays by the rules but without mercy or compassion. He is comfortable in a hierarchy and would like to rule, but is willing to serve. He is loath to break promises, and is therefore very cautious about giving his word unless a bargain is clearly in his favour.

This reluctance comes partly from his nature and partly because he depends on order to protect himself from those who oppose him on moral grounds. Some lawful evil villains have particular taboos, such as not killing in cold blood (but having underlings do it) or not letting children come to harm (if it can be helped). They feel these personal morals put them above unprincipled villains.

Video Game Soundtrack Review: Shadow of the Colossus

2009-06-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been searching through my old video game library and I found an old classic. No doubt all you Ico fans will recognize this title, Shadow of the Colossus. Yes, this unconventional action/adventure game has I really good musical score. It's mellow at times, with gentle cellos echoing with a haunting choir and a single flute swaying in the mist of the final battle (Demise of the Ritual~ Battle with the Colossus) . This score is almost as epic as the Lord of the Rings, possably more so. However, the good music only plays when you do battle with one of the sixteen earthly walking mountains throughout the game. I give this music a 5/5.

Here are some samples

Slience~ Battle with the Colossus

Grotesque Figures~ Battle withe the Colossus

A Despair Filled Farwell~ Battle with the Colossus

The Opened Way ~ Battle with the Colossus

Out of the Inferno and Heading to Purgatory (Divine Comedy Refernce)

2009-06-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

Hello again, filthy humans now...what to talk about today. Ah yes, well then...Nollaf here is out of that HORRIBLE Holmes Jr High School. Feh...those humans, so happy and perky. But at the same time so full of spiteful malice and hatred for all that if different than them. So, whats the word...hollow, cold and unfeeling. It's almost like they pretend to have emotion and are so oblivious to everything around them it's strange. These "peers" of mine, wreathed in oblivion were nothing more than persistent little flies nipping and buzzing around my limbs, a minor annoyance but an annoyance never the less. Oh course I am referring to these adolescents that I had to put up with for 3 long and painful years. I must admit, the staff was very kind to me (particularly my English teacher this year). Now Nollaf no longer has to put up with the plague/scourge of the human race: teenagers. Well, ok I still have three more long years ahead. But I am going to a different school, an advanced program for those with similar minds to my own. And no I'm NOT referring to an asylum.

It's called Davicni High School, a small school which centers around technology and power point persenations. This will be must better than the Junior high school. However the main thing that bugged me about them is that they are so rapped up in their own filthy ignorance and pathetic social lives. They no nothing about the real world, as do I. Though I may not be a man of the world, I'm not exactly naive here. I do my research, unlike these fools. Of late, I have been hearing tales of how "good" these teens are and how noble they are. They win these...presidential awards. Such amusing fiction, quite contrary to popular belief (which is just about as reliable as Wikipedia), I know what these fools do after school, I know their involvement in narcotics, I know what they did last summer. Ok, I was joking on that last one, heheh. But come on, this is just a popularity contest with the teachers nothing more. Anyways, due to my strange and nihilism-filled outlook on life my peers mock me. In the case of 8th grade, I was often times physically harmed due to my difference.

They are so idiotic and hateful, of course due to my lack of muscle tone I am unable to fight back. That's when I alert the staff, I have no other options. And after a brief scolding, they say that "their sorry", please...they aren't sorry for their crime. Their sorry because they did it to my face. Then of course as with all teens, they go through a breakup or some other petty downhill slide in their life, soon their friends and lackeys whine about it and so on and so forth. They get so loud and sometimes I wonder why don't I just get myself a pair of earplugs. Well, that's my rant for these week.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring vs A Walk to Remeber

2009-06-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

Greetings my gentle viewers, Nollaf is back to review more movies, but this time in a different manner. After a bit of an argument in 6th Period over wither to watch the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings or A Walk to Remember, I have decided the prove to those fools that the Lord of the Rings is twice the novel and film that a Walk to Remember will ever be. Well, shall I begin? Starting with Protagonists and Antagonists.

Protagonists

LOTR: Frodo Baggins, a young hobbit who is the nephew of Bilbo Baggins. He is a frailly quite lad who inherits a magical ring (which turns out to be link between the reincarnation of the Dark Lord, Sauron) which holds terrible power and must cast it into the depths of a volcano on the other side of the continent, Mount Doom.

AWTR: Landon Carter, a son of a rich family, although Sparks described him as a "typical teenage boy". Landon is the name of Sparks' third son. Hegbert did not like Landon for how the latter's grandfather's wealth was accumulated and has deemed him, in the words of Sparks, a "sort of aimless" lad. Eventually, Hegbert let Landon out with Jamie for he saw positive changes in his attitude.

Winner: Frodo Baggins (LOTR)

Antagonists

LOTR: Sauron, the dark lord of the wastelands of Mordor who commands thousands of horrific aberrations called orcs and lurks at his hellish citadel of Bara'Dur. His physical body was destroyed in ages past but his will was so powerful that it allowed him to continue to exist as an incorporeal flaming, all seeing eye atop of his tower of madness and utter evil. Tolkien made him to represent evil as whole, simple evil, and at it's core a single minded vision and intolerance to all difference or racism is you will.

AWTR: Revered Sullivan, a highly religious reverend who refuses to allow the two lovers to be together. He is also the father of the female protagonist, Jammie.

Winner: Sauron (LOTR)

Primary Female Protangists

LOTR: Eowyn, a sheildmaiden of the kingdom of Rohan, located in the eastern plains of Middle Earth next to the Misty Mountains. She has an iron will and is good with a sword, she even utterly destroyed one of Sauron's lead lieutenants, The Lord of the Nazgul.

AWTR: Jammie Sullivian, the daughter of the Beaufort church minister Hegbert Sullivan. Jamie, whose name was taken from Sparks' editor, Jamie Raab,has leukemia; however, the novel presents her fate ambiguously that had Sparks receive frequently asked questions from readers if she did live or die.

Winner: Eowyn (LOTR)

Mentor-Like Figures

LOTR: Gandalf, an elderly wizard with powers over the elements. He took on a Balrog single handily in the Mines of Moria.

AWTR: ...someone, anyone?

Winner: Gandalf (LOTR)

Main Soundtack Piece

LOTR: May it Be, a soothing medloy with an elven chorus composed and preformed by Enya. Come on, it's Enya for God's Sake!

AWTR: It's Gonna Be Love, sung by Mandy Moore...this song= awful, the insturmental ascepts of it are so god damn bad, just the lyrics are so awful, I hate it!

Winner: May it Be (LOTR)

Opening Sequences

LOTR: With the narration of Galaderial (Queen of the Wood Elevs of Lothlorien), this scene descirbes the origins of the One-Ring, The Wraiths and the Downfall of Sauron with an epic choir and a kick-ass fight scene between orcs and humans/elves.

AWTR: A stupid teenage bastard jumps off a bridge, and gets injured just so that he can be one of the cool kids...wow...-_-'

Winner: "One Ring to Rule Them All" (LOTR)

Ending Sequences

LOTR: One of the protagonists get shot repeatedly in the chest with arrows and dies while Frodo stands on the riverbank miles away crying over the death of Gandalf, while his faithful companion Sam races after him while Frodo grabs a boat, crying to complete the quest alone out of fear that his companions will be tourterd and killed by the orcs ahead. After the two hobbits hug it out. Aragorn, one of the lead protagonists fends off the orcs attacking his comrades but is too late. After he kills the head orc, Boromir (the one being shot) passes away claiming that theit fellowship was futile and that Sauron will return and destroy all life. Aragon kisses his brow and vows to aid Frodo still, after Boromir passes away he runs after Frodo to find that he has left. With the fellowship divided, the movie ends...

AWTR: Landon continues to fulfill various wishes on Jamie's list, such as building her a telescope so she can see a comet. Her father who at first didn't approve of him helps out. After Jamie sees the comet through the telescope, Landon proposes marriage with Jamie accepting. Through this process, Landon and Jamie learn more about the nature of love. The movie ends with Jamie's death, but only after the couple are married in the same chapel as was Jamie's deceased mother, the event that topped Jamie's wish list. Landon himself becomes a better person through Jamie's memory, achieving the goals that he set out to do, like she did.

Winner: The Breaking of the Fellowship (LOTR), Come on it made me cry...

I don't think I need to go on...

Bonus Movie Review: Up

2009-05-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

Hello, I have removed the dark lord aspect of my title (don't know what I was thinking *shudders*) . So, Nollaf here has remodeled his fortress of darkness and despair, ect, ect. Pretty oh, whats the vulgar term that those adolescents use to describe something descent...oh what was it again..? Ah yes, ahem "pimp". Well then, enough with the little advancement, lets get on with the bonus review.

Up, such a simple title. Hardly suits the true complexity behind the film's simple plot synopsis. Now, basically the center of the films plot is (don't worry, I wont give THAT many spoliers) there's this man (Mr. Frendricson) who is reaching the final hours of twilight in his day, his wife is deceased which has caused him great emotional pain. Due to the indrustry moving in and building a metropolis around him, he has decided to go in the footsteps of his childhood hero and convert his own house into a makeshift airship to travel to Paridise Islands in Venezuela, a young boy scout was at the wrong place at the wrong time and while on Frendricison's front porch is carried away into the heavens with our protagonist. Due to a series of misadventures, Mr. Frendricson's vessel crashes near the islands, so he and the boy go through the wilderness of South America to access his destination. The plot greatly thickness beyond that but I will not go into further detail...

This film is far deeper than any other child's film that you are likely to view. It is a beautiful tale through the eyes of a man reaching the end of his days, like the Old Man and the Sea to some degree (classic lore, brilliant). And the antagonist brings an ominous feel to it, making a scholar's mine reminisce of The Most Dangerous Game. The film as some aspects which I thought to be immature but it's a child's film so I cannot complain, however this film is a work of art. It has intelligent themes such as lost love, salvation taken to extremes and a personal journey for the protagonists. If your a kid, you'll like the pretty bird...thingy. If your older and mature, you'll enjoy the deep subplot of the old man and the constant sub-text.

I give this film...a 5/5.

Video Game Soundtrack Review: Castlevania 64

2009-05-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

Hello again, tis me Dark Lord Nollaf. Anyways, I am now a self-proclaimed arbiter of media...well of films and video games that is. Anyways, tonight I am reviewing the soundtrack of Castlevania 64. This game may be mediocre in game play...hang on, I take that back the original version sucked but the revised and greatly expanded Legacy of Darkness (also known as the "Legend of Cornell" version) was significantly better. The soundtrack is quite well done and ominously haunting but yet eerily beautiful...so gorgeous and evil. It suits is perfectly, so dark. Well here are some samples...this soundtrack gets a 4/5.

Introduction/Title Screen: The Title Theme

Dance of Illusions: Thrid Epic Boss Theme

Duel Tower: Background Music for Said Level

Game Over: The Theme that Plays When you Die...

Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring

2009-05-30T21:20:00.000-07:00

Hello, tis me Dark Lord Nollaf. Yes, I have changed my title to Dark Lord Nollaf. Suck it up all you Sauron wannabes. Anyways, recently I have been looking over my old DVD collection and I have desided to have a new feature into my blog: Satarday Night Movie Reviews. Because all you fellow pimply virgins have nothing better to do than to listen to my endless rants agianst mankind. Well, sense I lack a girlfriend and I don't like going outside that much (meh, the light burns Nollaf, IT BURNS!) I really can't think of a better use of my time. Anyways, enjoy my review.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings

Naturally I am a hardcore Tolkein fan, it is a prerequist amongst us geeks to know your Tolkien Lore along with Star Terk trivia. So, overall the movie dose justice to the book. It has all the main aspects of it, The Mines of Moria, the heartqueching Breaking of the Fellowship sequence, Bilbo's 111th Birthday Party and much much more. The casting was great and the whole desing of Middle-Earth was done by two aristis, Allan Lee and John How. Quite famous artists, howevers there is one downside to this film THEY LEFT OUT TOM BOMBIDILL!!!! Yah, that and the Old Forest and the Barrow Downs. But overall the acting is great (Ian M. as Gandalf...woot), the soundtrack (composed and arranged by Howard Shore) along with the script and special effects were all great!

I give this flim a...(drum roll)...4/5 but the extended version (only released on DVD) a 5/5.

An Arch-Rivail for Nollaf and a Wikipedia Article Too

2009-05-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

Well then. It looks like that Nollaf has a bit of competition now gentle viewers. A friend of mine has recently uploaded his own blog onto this website. Well, It looks like that I will have to improve my little nook of net a little bit and expand! Yes, it has begun. If you forget the URL for my blog just type in Nollaf's Tower in Wikipedia and along with a synposis of the blog will be the URL! Hurray for my acolytes and me! Now...the name of this rivial I shall not give away after all we are friends in real life. But is alias is "Koobaxion"...formerly known an Endros until he randomly changed it into that. Personally I liked Endros better, but that's just me.

Why Planet X is a Makeshift Theroy and is just Y2K all Over Again

2009-05-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

OK, 2012. We all know what it is...the year the apparently the world comes to an ultimate end. Now, rumors have it that December 31 we are all going to f*#$ing die. I am...not buying this. OK, the Mayan Calender Ends that year. So? The Christens said that the Apocalypse will rise when the Middle East fights over water. Well, they are and I don't see the four horsemen braking down my door to drag me to the depths of the Ninth Circle of Dante's Inferno (for you stupid people, that's Hell). So there are some REAL things going on that year: Kyoto Protocol expires and thats about it. OK, so the Mesoamerican Long Count Calender ends that day. Now the calender also only lasted for 5,125 years. Now, so people are saying because something lasting for 5,125 years ends it's the end of all existence on this planet.

How, can the calender of a civilisation who thought that Cortes and his fellow conquistadors (until the went of a gold-crazed massacre) were gods and who practices human sacrifice of young women to keep the sun from vanishing from existence causing Armageddon be true? People, these tribes didn't have the most accurate metaphysical view on things OK? Anyways, there is also another thing that people overlooked. The Mesoamerican Calender also hinted spiritual ascension. That could mean an advancement both mentally and physically. Theories show that rather than the planet spontaneously combusting, we all undergo a consciousness shift so to speak. Suck on that 6th Period! HA! I mock you!

The only bad thing that I can think of that will happen is that fact that there will be a geometric reverse (aka the magnetic field will reverse, forming west to become east and vice versa) which will cause much magnetic technology to become useless, sending some of regions back into the middle ages. I call that a major annoyance, not cataclysmic. There is also a time wave zero theory, this means that the universe will implode on it's self. OK, it is impossible that an expanding universe could implode on it's self without cause or meaning. Physicaly it would cause something of unimaginable proportions to cause the end of everything, the only way that something could end this is the Big Church which no one knows will happen. This is not that the end of the world. It can't work, I know my astronomy and it can't work! Even if a star 1,000,000,000x larger than the red giant Betelgeuse exploded into a supernova, that would hardly to any damage to existence it's self. Besides, even if it did destroy all matter, the universe is expanding and new matter would be created and besides it would not be truly destroyed at all! By the laws of physics, no matter can truly be created or destroyed!

Not to mention, the theory describes it as the end of time! TIME! AGH!!! When will you people understand, chaos, time, order, space. They are all names and ideas that our overactive minds come up with to describe things that we don't fully understand! These things are non-existent and are concepts that we came up to explain the unexplainable, similar to the origins of how man created god and heaven/hell. It's all a load of crap. This pseudoscience has transformed my peers into doomsday cultists. Grr...don't get me wrong I really don't care for them at all, it's just is anyone should be striking fear into their hearts it should be something oh I don't know. CORPORAL AND FACTUAL MAYBE!!!

God, and as for the whole Planet X slamming into the planet theory (aka the Nibiru Collision Theory), oh were to I begin. First of all Planet X was the original name of Pluto, also how can a small planetiod get past a labyrinth-like web of comets surrounding our solar system (the oort cloud). After all the comets bashing would cause to brake apart if not be utterly destroyed. Now, how would this Planet X get past the gravitational pull of Jupiter? The things is over 300 times the size of Earth and is so dense that it could implode and form a star on it's own. It's like a compressed nebula! Now this Planet X would be sucked into the orbit of this planet and would most likely be augmented by the gravitational paradox of the orbit. After all gravity weakness with distance and thus as you stand, your head is not pulled as much as your feet are by Earth's gravitational pull. The difference is so minor that you cannot feel it, however take that same fact onto a larger scale say in Jupiter's vacuum range, you would feel your legs being dragged or ripped apart from your body towards the massive gaseous colossus. But Planet X would be stretched and compressed as it moved in an elliptical orbit thus rendering it no threat, but even if it was moving as such a high speed that it avoided the pull of Jupiter or was too far away to be effected it would get smashed into oblivion by the asteroid belt and the remains would most likely smash into Mars. Or maybe it's the dwarves in Earth's core using a tractor beam to drag the planetiod to us. Or maybe...planet X is really the third model of the Galactic Empires Death Star!!! Or perhaps Sephiroth summoned Planet X to slam into the Earth forcing the Lifestream to rise to the surface, so that he can absorb it and turn into a sephra-like demigod. Please that those were all in major sarcasm quotes.

2009-05-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

Oh, ahem. For those of you randomly viewing my blog. I found that few or no people at all bother to comment. Sense I am a noob at blogging I would very much appreciate you humans posting comments as feedback, just so I know that people are actually listening to me. Thank you...

2009-05-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

Possibly A Key to Alternate Realities

The Multiverse Theory, something that I have spent a large amount of time thinking about...what is the true purpose of our existence. In the words of Stephen Hawkings, "We have no special place in the universe" and I very much agree. You see to our knowledge humans or sentient life...then again life at all only exists on this planet. I find this is be absurd, with the constant expansion of this plane of existence how can it be possible that we are the only living things in reality? Ridicules. But, with the ignorance of mankind it is quite believable that humans would think this. I hate humans...anyways with the expansion of universe it is possible that more than one dimension exist...parallel realities interloping with our own universe. This is called the multiverse theory. There are 4 kinds of universes possible, each of these fit into in section in a scale called Tegmark's Classisfaction.

Level I: Another Milky Way, Solar System, Sun and Earth created due to an infinite number of Hubble Volumes, after all with the infinite mass and size of the universe there will be another Earth inevitably.

Level II: Small demiplanes forming due to chaotic inflation and physical contrast in the "Astral Plane" aka the gap in between these universes.

Level III: An extension of the Level I universe, if there are going to multiple Earths in the Universe there will also be earths with very minor changes in them, for an example say if you roll a die and that die lands on a six in the Level III universe it could land on any number but odds are it will be different (1/6 chance of it landing on the same number...not good odds).

Level IV: Now, if the universe is in the Astral Plane, what is causing the chaotic inflation with the universe. Level IV universes, something utterly different from our own plane of reality. If you watched the Mist you know what a Level IV universe is. These universes are planes of utter difference from our own with little or nothing in common with our's. With a set of alternate physics and abstract mathematics, this world is like something out of a bad sci-fi movie.

Wormholes: There is only one way that I know of to access these planes of alternate reality, a wormhole. A wormhole is a gap in space-time, created from extreme, unimaginable quantities of energy focused at a single point in space. This causes the space-time continuum to become unstable and break forming a wormhole. A wormhole can open a hole through the Astral Plane and into a Level IV universe or across massive distances in our own universe as a "short cut".

2009-05-13T15:54:00.000-07:00

A New Twist for this Page

Do to the advent of my triumph. I have decided to replace the song Vamo' Alla Flamenco with something that suites me more. Now, the new song is called "Kefka's Theme". Yes, but unlike many of my posts this is not a tribute to the "Joker of Final Fantasy". This is a tribute to myself. You see Kefka suits me well, for one when ever I take quizzes that are basically "Which Final Fantasy Villain are You?" I get Kefka. That is one reason (we are both misanthropic, somewhat self-loathing but yet highly egotistic, people sometime mock us for our appearance, we go on extremely long rants, we have a cult...well my cult a couple of nutjobs who obey my commands, and just a wee-bit on the insane side) that this song suits me. Another reason is that Kefka's Theme starts off slow and mellow, resembling my time as an angsty emo with no respect from his peers or himself, then the song slowly becomes more intense a bit resembling my somewhat rise to respect and power (aka when I started this blog) and finally with the advent of today in which it swells into forte and becomes bombastic. Also the tone suites my insanity well, I think.

2009-05-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

Victory for Zim!!!

Hello, ladies, gentlemen and those with both kinds of junk and no junk alike! Now, Nollaf once again has had a stroke of pure victory and honor. Today there was a talent show at my high school, I preformed and I did my "Gollum Impersonation". Trust me this thing is really good, I'm a pro at it. When the talent show first came on at 5th Period, I was freaking out. After all, my act is...aberrant to say the least. However I am still sane enough not to dress like the fell beast...that would be awkward. Anyways, when it was my turn to go on and unleash the filthy shmoo-like voice within me everyone burst into laughter. Not the "you suck so we mock you laughter", but the "oh my god this dude is so awesome it's ridiculous" laughter. The 7th Graders loved my act, the 8th Graders also did but were not overly impressed (they enjoyed the yo-yo act more, shallow bastards) but my real triumph came with the 9th Graders, my peers. Now they LOVED the act, in fact a few jocks and preps were screaming "WOOT, FALLON, FALLON, FALLON!!!". However, the best moment was the encore, that's right, I got a f@#$ing encore. So I did the whole Minas Morgul scene from the Return of the King. They loved it. I have honor now, I have respect, I am...somewhat popular and my existence is acknowledged by the preps. Strange...how such a geeky skill has earned me so much honor among such shallow people...maybe I underestimated them. Huh, a well I still hate those jocks who mock my studder. May they burn in the 9th Hell of Battor. It would not surprise me if a woman asked me out...hmm...

2009-05-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

Petty Romances

...sigh. What is wrong with me? I have a crush on some one who probably hates me. Now I'm one for forbidden love, I have had more than one run with it. Both times I got physically hurt, not so much emotionally though. Now this woman in question is the opposite of me, she is preppy and evil. Not in the misanthropic, power hungry overlord way like I am, but in the prissy smart-ass without the smart fraction of the praise. In other words, just your stereotypical high school bitch. But, she also has a good side to her. She is definitely intelligent, that is for certain. She has outwitted me on multiple occasions. I have met few who can do that, it is a feat there is no doubt about that. Just, she is quite physically attractive. I think that is what gets me. AAH! How shallow I must be sounding, I'm turning into what I hate, what I have vowed to shun! Gr...I must hold back these petty romances. Or I will become one of them, those mindless preps who mock me so. She is not for me, besides I'm pretty certain that she is taken anyway. I need to find a nice, goth girl who understand my insanity. Yes, that's it. Oh, no doubt that my English teacher is reading this. Let me tell you something 6th period, your not getting this crush out of me so you might as well not even bother. Now excuse me, I must listen to the 3rd Tier of Dancing Mad to quell this minor internal strife...

Well, I have found I song that somewhat serenades my internal feelings for this woman. No doubt you fellow Final Fantasy Fans will understand my plight once you here this.
Click Here to Listen

2009-05-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

How can Humans be so...Stupid?

OK, seriously people humanity fails. Now, a majority of the people lack the intelligence nessearcy to locate our content on the f$%^ing globe. I am a some what tolerant person, some what. But my generation of humans is going to end up ruining the country. I asked a few of them what misanthropic meant all of them did not know. I mean COME ON! I'm barely in high school and these fools do not understand what metaphysics is? ITS A F$%^ING BRANCH OF PHILOSOPHY YOU FEEBLE-MINDED MONKEYS! Amazing how in millions of years of evolution and we have just figured out how to access our own moon. How can these fools live with themselves if they are so...stupid? I mean come on! The only future for these fools is either a fast food joint or a guest appearance on a jackass-rip off. These fools are going to be the most patheticly dim witted generation sense 1660 (The generation of the Salem Witch Trails)...OK I'm done ranting.

2009-04-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

Loveless: The Reoccurring Poem from Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core

Prologue (Poem)
When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting

Prologue (Interpreted)
When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end
The goddess descends from the sky

Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting

Act I (Poem)
Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
We seek it thus, and take it to the sky
Ripples form on the water’s surface
The wandering soul knows no rest.

Act I (Interpreted)
The infinite mystery
The gift of the goddess is what the three men seek
But their fates are scattered by war

One becomes a hero, one wanders the land
And the last is taken prisoner

But the three are still bound by a solemn oath
To seek the answer together, once again

Act II (Poem)
There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the goddess
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds

Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
Pride is lost
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh

Act II (Interpreted)
Though the prisoner escapes, he is gravely wounded
His life is saved, however
By a woman of the opposing nation

He begins a life of seclusion with her
Which seems to hold the promise of eternal bliss

But as happiness grows, so does guilt
Of not fulfilling the oath to his friends

Act III (Poem)
My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow

My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess

Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return

Act III (Interpreted)
As the war sends the world hurtling towards destruction
The prisoner departs with his newfound love
And embarks on a new journey

He is guided by hope that the gift will bring bliss
And the oath that he swore to his friends

Though no oath is shared between the lovers
In their hearts they know they will meet again

Act IV (Poem)
My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess

My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber

Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world’s end
The wind sails over the water’s surface
Quietly, but surely

Act V (Poem)
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
To become the dew that quenches the land
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice

2009-04-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

The Flash Version of my Life, in a really funny Metaphor of Course

I have found the flash animation equivalent of my life. It is called Charlie the Unicorn. This mythological hoofed creature is something that I can very much relate to. He is anti-social, reclusive and just a total misanthrope when it comes to his stupid peers. For those who know me in person you will find the similarities almost instantly.

Charlie the Unicorn
Charlie the Unicorn: Episode 2
Charlie the Unicorn: YouTube Live Trailer
Charlie the Unicorn: Episode 3

2009-04-18T15:34:00.000-07:00

The Pinnacle of Mortification

*Sigh*, not too long ago at my English class my teacher actually showed the whole class my blog! The thing is though, she found a link to my mother's as well. So we spent half of the period surfing through various articles about her "man-cub". If you read her blog regularly you know what that means...I reached the pinnacle of mortification in my school days so far that period...*shudders* They also found the picture of the pepper that looks like...something naughty. Anyways, I now have descended from emo to man-cub. Kill me now...not really, it's a figure of speech damn you.

2009-04-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Final Fantasy Song of ALL Time (5-1)

And now we continue our list...no scratch that: MY list. This also contains honorable mentions at the end to. Enjoy!

5) The Prelude (from The Final Fantasy Saga)
The prelude is one of the most iconic pieces of music from the saga. Any one who as played a Final Fantasy Game or has watched anyone play a Final Fantasy Game has heard this song. The Prelude may be the heart and soul of the saga (which is the soul reason that it's on here) but it isn't good enough to make it farther up on our list...oh and sense I gave you samples for all the game versions to date so there will be no remixes for this song, sorry.

4) Liberi Fatali (from Final Fantasy VIII)
The fourth opening theme to make our list, Liberi Fatali is an iconic theme whose chours (Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec) echos throughout the game in many ways. This song's chours section is not of Latin but in truth an anagram for Succession of Witches but with four letters left ever which spell Love, these are the key elements to the game's plot. Here is the opening cutsceen which has the song in it's background. There are no known remixes of this song with noticeable changes that I could find though...but I have made a parody of the chours (Fetus Look-hed, Weenus Eat-your-Head). This was also the first song to be in a video game that was not played with a synthetic orchestral in the game!

3) Battle with the Four Fiends (from Final Fantasy IV)
One of my favorite battle themes, this epic theme plays as you make your way through each of the four fiends in the final region of the game. This song is beautifully executed and is just epic to listen to. Here is the a video with one of the fiends. (skip to 0:59 to view the part with the song quicker) And here's the metal remix of it, WOOT!

2) Choas Shrine (from Final Fantasy I)
For Second Genoration Video Games, (The Late 1980's) this song is REALLY good! I could only find the remix of it featured in remakes of the game, but this is so simple but so well excuted it is brillaint in every since of the word. There's the footage of the Chaos Shirne!

1) Dancing Mad (from Final Fantasy VI)
TA-DA, here is the winner! Danicng Mad from Final Fantasy VI! This song is so long that I could only find the 1st half of it! How long is it? We're talking about 18:00 of boss music here! This song so epic it brings a new definition to the word bad-ass. The song plays during the final battle when the protagonists climb up Kefka's Tower and fight the massive and horrific guardians obstructing their path, finally after they reach the heavens: the only thing not corrupted by the vile touch of Kefka...he appears and the true battle begins. Each section of the song represents an ascept of Kefka, the first one represents the hopelessness that he inflicts on his victims (aka humanity as we know it) the second is more on his clownish attitude for it has a more perky beat, the third tier is a reflection on his madness and the final is his infernal violence and blood lust. Here is the second half and the footage of the final battle. For more info of the bad-ass Kefka scroll down to some of my earlier blogs. Oh, and please note that this is the longest boss theme to date!

Honorable Mentions: One-Winged Angel (from Final Fantasy VII), Opera: Maria and Draco (from Final Fantasy VI), Kefka's Theme (from Final Fantasy VI), You Can Hear the Cries of the Planet (from Final Fantasy VII), Aerith's Theme (from Final Fantasy VII), Chocobo Theme (from the Final Fantasy Saga), Battle Theme (from Final Fantasy I)

2009-04-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Final Fantasy Songs of ALL Time (10-6)

Hello again, hideous fools. Tis me Nollaf! Now for tonight's blog of misanthropy I have chose a random and disturbingly geeky topic: The Top 10 Final Fantasy Songs of ALL Time. Now shall we being? Well before we begin, I have made some rules for the judging. First of all, there can also be one song per game otherwise the whole list would be songs from Final Fantasy VII. So, yeah and each song will have two hyperlinks. The one on the title will take you to the original song, the one at the end of the review will take you to a remixed version.

10) Opening - Bombing Mission (From Final Fantasy VII)
This is more of a medley than an actual song, but anyways it's still one of the best opening themes ever to make a video game. The opening song plays during the first cutsceen in the game, and then the song slowly takes a new turn into an intense piano/orchestral piece. The second half of the song loops as you go through the 1st part of the introduction and acts as sort of an overture for the 1st "act" of the game. For footage of the events that this song plays for (Click Here). Stop around 3:09. Before you do, you might want to read the prologue listed below.

An energy manufacturing mega company known as Shinra Inc. is harvesting the sheer life energy of the Planet (known as Lifestream) as a simple fossil fuel. The Lifestream is processed and made into products ranging from electricity and heat to Mako and Materia. The latter two materials can work miracles, granting the wisdom of the Ancients to the user. However, the Lifestream, like most other fuels, is finite in supply, and the Planet's life force is being malevolently drained by the constant exploitation of Mako by Shinra. Though aware of the harmful effects, they function without remorse.

However, the real battle lies not with a corporation, but a force much more competent from the distant past. A long-thought dead warrior bent on becoming a god by draining all of the Lifestream from the planet has risen again and will stop at nothing to achieve his goal.

"Now a small rebel group emanating from the slums must quell the various dangers toward the innocent, and one mercenary for hire must look amidst the lies and deception and find the man he is within."

So yeah, for the remixed version: Click Here

9) Dear Friends (from Final Fantasy V)
Dear Friends is far simpler than Opening - Bombing Mission. It is nothing more than a beautiful ending theme to the 5th instalment of the series. Though the original version sucks, the remixes are actually pretty good. Here is one of them: Click here.

8) The Rebel Army Theme (from Final Fantasy II)
The Second Final Fantasy Game takes place in a time of tyranny and slaughter. Not unlike that of the first Star Wars film. However, when ever a corrupt expanding empire reaches it's arm out at passive countrysides, there is always a rebel alliance ready to fight back and Final Fantasy II's heroes are no different. This song is the theme for their cause, and here is another orchestral remix. Oh please note that I have no frigging idea of what that amine crap is in background...

7) To Zanarkand (from Final Fantasy X)
Yet another opening theme! To Zanarkand plays during the opening cinemats of the game. It is a sentimental, beautiful piece which once brought tears to these cold, unfeeling eyes many a year ago...here is the cutsceen that plays at opening moment of the game, click here. This song though it also appears once, I feel that it is the heart and soul of the game. Ok, more like the pancreas of the game, the tender love story that echos throughout the plot is the heart of the game. But you know what I mean! It's very important for the game...meh. Anyways here's an orchestral remix.

6) Vamo' Alla Flamenco (from Final Fantasy IX)
Here's a little change in gear. Here we have a peppy guitar theme, used only twice in the game. But it is still a wonderful piece which I love. It plays during the sword-dueling mini game at the game's beginning stages and at a quick racing mini game later on. Here's some footage of the sword play, click here to view. Oh also, the piano version of this song can be listened to always on my blog near my portrait! Also here's a metal version of said song, click here.

2009-04-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

An Overlooked Evil

Honestly sometimes, by my teachers I can sometimes feel a little bit underrated. Mostly by my math teacher. But that is just Nollaf talking. Though my English teacher fully understands my mental power and capability, my math teacher seems to think otherwise. Just math isn't my strong point. Though she has never said anything directly to me about my intelligence, I just get that vibe from her...strange. Aw well, it matters not. For many of my teachers understand all to well my power and what I can do. Sometimes all too well, however it's nice to know that some people greatly acknowledge my vast power in writing and creativity...

2009-04-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

(Kefka Laugh)

It has come to my attention that some of you viewers don't know what I mean when I say, Kefka Laugh. Well, then if your going to read any further posts you'll have to read the official definition of Kefka Laugh. Made official by ME: The All-Misanthropic Nollaf!

OK, first of all: Who is this "Kefka" of which you speak of? Long story short Kefka is the main antagonist of Final Fantasy VI. If you really don't care about the origins of my prahse, skip this. If not, read on! Anyways Kefka's life began as an orphan, a small helpless abused orphan. Now a young scientist named Cid, adopted Kefka. Over time, Kefka became his apprentice and volunteered to have experiments done of him. This resulted in Kefka becoming extremely skilled in the art of magic, however over time though the side-effects drove him mad. Kefka soon joined ranks in the Imperial Army and became a court mage and a general. Soon though he began to plot to usurp the Emperor, Gestahl. His plan was to obtain the essences of mythical beings called Espers to become extremely powerful in magical arts and to gain control of the Warring Trade (A Trio of Statues that Contain Unfathomable Power). Soon Kefka killed the Emperor and utterly reshaped the world in his image by causing the Warring Trade to unleash a world-wide blast of metaphysical power, however before he could end life as he knew it (due to his severe misanthropy and nihilistic nature) the protagonists destroy him and his dark tower.

Kefka was famous for many things. He had a... unique appearance to say the least, not unlike that of a medieval jester's. He also as some of the best lines in the game. One of my personal favorites is his remark to when the protagonists tell him about how life has a significant meaning, "Bleh! You people make me sick! You sound like lines from a self-help book! If that's how it's going to be... I'll snuff them all out! Every last one of your sickening, happy little reasons for living!" Of course, I will not deny Kefka dose have some pretty serious issues. After all, I'm a misanthrope and even I don't want to destroy all of existence. He is also famous for his theme song named..."Kefka". Not the most original theme name but the song is good! Now his laugh, nearly every time you see him you here this creepy, ominous cackle. It plays almost as many times as his theme song comes on! Now this is an iconic piece of audio in the franchise. It like when horror fans hear "Here's...JOHNNY!" they think of The Shinning, now when Final Fantasy Fans hear "crrraHA-WOhohoho!" they think of Final Fantasy VI. Now, when I feel evil or michivous I grin and say "Kefka Laugh". Get it now? It's a tribute to one of the best villains of all time. Oh, please note that the game was made in 1994 so the auido isn't too good.

2009-04-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

Vamo' Alla Flamenco!

Hello again, hideous fools! Tis me, Nollaf! Anyways this blog will be short, so don't get to comfortable. Now I have a new feature on my blog! Behold: Vamo' Alla Flamenco! Yes, you can now listen to the mini game theme ever while viewing my rants. Enjoy the sounds of the Sword Duel Mini-Game of Final Fantasy IX! (Kefka Laugh)

Oh and MERRY PLATYPUS ONE AND ALL!!! (Invader Zim Quote, WOOT)

2009-04-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

A Free Psychological Therapy Session with Nollaf

Hello pathetic fools who still read this blog. Why are you reading this? Have you not figured out the meaning of the @#$%ing title?! Funny I think I would have offended you by now...strange how your bizarrely normal mind works, human. Well, if you have understood and are like me: go you. Now again I am not a violent person, I just find humans to be very annoying, loud, squealing fools who lie to themselves every day that their very existence has some meaning to the core of reality... not to mention I had to spend half an hour listening to a friend of mine go on and on about...never mid, forget that. Anyways, we all have moments when we want to go on a rampage, it's human nature. People deny that they secertly want to kill, hunt and have non-monogamous relationships. Now some people go past common denial and utterly repress these violent emotions: THAT'S when things get ugly and the Status Que gets upset. You see its the people who think their crazy which are sane, it's the ones in utter denial that you have to watch out for. If you happen to feel really angry or sad, think of the cause imagine you utterly destroying that cause. Congrats you just kept yourself sane for the time being. I hope that you find this useful and don't kill THAT many people. Have I nice day, you hideous fool!

2009-04-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

Video Games Live: A Night to Remember...

Guess what peoples? Nollaf is now FAMOUS! Now what you pitiful fools! It all started it this concert called Video Games Live were they played video game music with orchestral instruments and even a guitar sometimes with a few songs. Well before the concert began, there was a costume contest. Now I was dressed up as the Happy Mask Salesman from the Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. For those you who don't know what that is, I sigh at you, you uneducated fool. My rivals were a cheap-ass guy with a pac-man hat and a more suitable nemesis for the competition: a disturbingly slutty Japanese school-girl with fake, tacky, bunny ears. I thought that I would fail (because of how the human race is utterly enslaved by their own sex hormones). However I ended up coming through as the winner. The crowd was our judge and no one cheered for the make-shift pacman. I laugh at him: HA! The SLUTTY Japanese school girl got a fair amount of applause. However when I walked up there, the crowd went into temporary insanity because of my sheer awesome power. (Bursts into Kefka-Like Laughter) Yes, those fools had no chance against my power. Those 1up-Crazed outcasts who know not the definition of soap actually did something GOOD in their lives! As a prize I received several pieces of priceless merchandise (Limited Edition IGN-Brand DS Light, Warcraft Posters, a Disc Containing 500+ songs from Video Games and much, much more!) The moral of this story? I did not expect your feeble mind into understand it on your own, the moral is even the most pathetic, hated genius gets his praise sometime in his all-too short existence...(Kefka Laugh)

Don't Believe?: click here to view the awesome victory of Nollaf!

But why should I have all the glory? Here's some links to a whole video game soundtrack! Enjoy gentle viewers!
1) The Prelude
2) Opening Theme
3) Overture
4) Village
5) Cornelia Castle
6) Equipment Menu
7) Shop
8) Inn
9) Inn Rest
10) Church
11) Battle Theme
12) Fanfare
13) Game Over
14) Chaos Temple
15) Mini Boss
16) Core Item Fanfare
17) Corenlia Bridge
18) Matoya's Cave
19 Travel by Sea
20) Ruined Castle
21) Cavern
22) Elemental Dungeon
23) Boss Battle #1
24) Crystal Theme
25) Airship
26) Underwater Temple
27) Deep Place
28) Boss Battle #2
29) Floating Castle
30) Final Battle: Chaos
31) Ending Theme

2009-04-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

Video Game Music: The Most Underrated Genre of Our Time (Part I)

Hello again dear friends and internet predators! Tis me, Nollaf once more (silence with the exception of cricket chirps in the background)! Anyways, I just wanted to say hello and educate your ingornat minds against your will to the wonder of VIDEO GAME MUSIC! Now, when you hear the term Video Game Music, what comes to your mind? If you thought Pong's blips and bloops...I sigh at you. If you thought the glory of Final Fantasy VI"s Dancing Mad or Opening Theme (aka Omen) virtual high five! You are given the title of awesome by the cranky &@$$*%@& Nollaf! Now for you uneducated ones, read one. For the others, I have some hot links to some classic songs on YouTube: enjoy!

Now, the start of video game music was just two noises: Blip and Bloop. This was the noise of the first video game music ever: PONG! Now a few years later you had Asteroids, a simple game with a simple score. If you have watched Jaws, the theme of the homicidal shark has been glued into your memories. This theme for Asteroids is alot like that: click here to listen! I know not too good, but this is like the few small rocks that start a landslide! Then the arcades get some power, a few of these which are famous for their classic music are Space Invaders (a theme not unlike Asteroids but slightly more...intelligent) and Donkey Kong (one of the first video games to have their own score!). Note that the Music from Space Invaders increases in intensity and speed over time and adds in a sense of anxiety as time goes on and the aliens get closer...amazing how four notes can create so much mood, no? Donkey Kong's music has all the basics for a score. A prelude, several simple themes for the later levels, an overture, a power-up jingle and a two victory fanfares! Donkey Kong was just the beginning for the heart and soul of the video games: Mario! Now in the 1980's home video games were created, one of these systems was the Famicom Home Computer System, now known as the Nintendo Entrainment System (for just the NES for short). There are four really iconic games with equally iconic scores for this system: Super Mario Brothers, The Legend of Zelda, Metriod and Final Fantasy.

Super Mario Brothers is a spin off of Donkey Kong, in which the same protagonist in barks on an epic journey to save a princess from a huge dragon like monster name Bowser. Accompanied by his younger brother Luigi, Mario must slowly advance into the kingdom of Bowser and save the princess. On his way he battles Bowser and his minions again and again saving the princess's servant called "toads" before he final battles Bowser for the final time and saves the kingdom.
Super Mario Brothers is not meant to have a deep plot, it is meant to be a fun game to pass the time. It has a perky overture, a dark sub theme for when traveling underground, a minute for swimming across vast seas and an ominous nocturne for invading the fortresses of Bowser...

Next on our list is the Legend of Zelda. The Legend of Zelda centers around a pair of mythical relics called the Triforce. If one obtains the Triforce the welder will hold great power, in the small feudal land of Hyrule a dark lord named Ganon obtains one of these Triforces and begins a conquest for world domination, he tries to obtain the other from a young princess named Zelda who refuses and shatters the other Triforce into 8 shards, the shards are found by ancient demons and are horded into a huge labyrinth called the Underworld. Enraged, Ganon takes Zelda to his fortress of Death Mountain in the heart of said labyrinth. The princess's nurse, Impa is perused by a pair of Ganon's minions but a young man named Link saves her. Impa tells Link of her plight and thus he sets out across many perils to find the Triforce and to save Zelda. This game also has a majestic overture, a shady and mysterious theme for the labyrinth, an intense jingle for the Death Mountain and a famous fanfare for when you obtain another piece of equipment.

Now we take a look at a more futuristic game, Metriod. The story of Metriod is simple, a young bounty hunter named Samus Aran is hired to hunt down and kill a band of space pirates. She tracks the pirates to a small, rural planet named Zebus. There she encounters many hostile creatures in the caverns as well as the space pirates she is after. The pirates are Kriad (a large lizard-like horror who as made a clone of himself), Ridely (a highly intelligent dragon-like creature) and the Mother Brain (a huge pulsating creature entombed in a technological life sport system with many weapons surrounding it). Through her adventures she find upgrades for her armor and many...unpleasant things within the depths of the backwater. The Central theme of the caverns plays as Samus is wandering through the nexus point called Brianstar, but has she dives deep into the nexus she finds herself in Kraid's Liar in the Brianstar Depths which as a haunting medley, but as she heads north she finds herself in a volcanic region of magma chambers and entombed craters called Norfiar which has a more clumsy guitar like sound to it as well as a darker tone as she finds Ridely's Liar within the core of the magma lakes, after she finishes the two lakcies of the Mother Brain she may enter the final region: Tourian which has a suitable urgent feel to it.

Finally, my personal favorite: Final Fantasy. Each Final Fantasy has a totally unique storyline, but the original is the most original. Final Fantasy takes place in small world called Gaia in which four ancients monsters begin to attack the cities and villages. However, four warriors rise forth to take on the darkness and do battle against the four horrors and their master Chaos. Thus saving the world. You will find the rived versions of these songs. The main theme is a key aspect of the game being very majestic and heroic, the battle theme is very intense and full of sharps and flats, the village song is peaceful, the castle theme is tranquil and also majestic, the theme for the ruined castles are dark and hauntingly beautiful to listen to, the dungeon theme is dark and tension filled, and the boss themes are epic and full of vigorous chords! This is true music!

2009-04-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings to you hideous fools who are reading the first chapter of my blog...well now you may as well know a little about the misanthropic writer: Nollaf. I Nollaf am physically very young compared to the great, cold void of space-time. I am currently in the 15th year of my existence however my attitude towards the multiverse is that of an very "cranky" elderly human. So you may say that I am "15 going on 76". Well then now you know, however due to my unique views on this specific location of the material plane (earth for you cosmological noobs*) I am shunned by my peers as a "freak". However those damned fools are ignorant and naive about the world around them. They consider the world to revolve around them and think nothing of the outside world, all together they fail to even comprehend a world beyond their own pathetic group of friends and the bounds of the high school. Though I am a total egoistic agnostic son-of-@#$%, I am far from ignorant...I do not target all whole ethic group in my rants, only those who I know and have a right to judge. As you read my blog you will find that I am on the autism spectrum. So this is a unique blog indeed, enjoy my rants.

Well now for about my hobbies and interests... now though I my not look like it, I am a total gamer. Almost everything I do revolves around video games! However, I tend to lean towards RPGs (Role-Playing Games) as my genre of choice. I have even taken my love of them to the point of even creating and programming a few myself. Some of my favorites would have to be Final Fantasy VI, VII and X, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64 and not to mention the glory of Warcraft III. Now when it comes to films, my favorite would have to be The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Extended Version. Now THAT is a fantasy epic! I have read the entire saga at least twice and I own the complete recordings of the Lord of the Rings: Return of the Kings (also Extended). Some other favorites of mine would have to be Pan's Labyrinth, Star Wars (IV-VI, the new ones FAIL), Jaws and Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. Well, I got to go gentle viewers, Farewell!

*: If you don't know what I noob is...look it up...